Final leg

I am done with classes.  The keys have been handed in.  Evaluations of my abilities as a "teacher" have been filled out.  All I have left is to finish some grading and mail off grades.  By Monday, for sure- although I have a personal goal of Friday afternoon- I will be done with my semester completely and totally.

I AM SO EXCITED.

Then it's winter break, where I will set up my binder full of pre-labs and notes on how to do the lab. 
I also want to try and figure out a way to give out equations and useful information without taking away time for lab.   Next semester, I have three labs and two fifteen minute breaks....Time is most certainly of the essence.
Oh, I haave goals!  small goals, but goals nonetheless.
Step in the right direction for life!

So now, I am going to dive into some papers and get this done. 
Wish me luck.

No one loves titrations as much as I do.

:(

At least next week is colour: pretty and easy.  Wooo!

List of Things

1.  I was afraid to teach Beer's Law to non-majors.  I think series dilution is awful most days, probably because it's boring to me, so I didn't know what to expect from these guys.  The first class did fine.  One group in the second lab of the day left their brains in third grade.  I CANNOT. 

2.  I need better patience skills.

3.  Colour is probably my favourite lab.  Because it's easy AND pretty.

4.  I like to explain electronegativity in terms of greediness.

5.  I totally don't have everything I learned in college memorized.  I CAN however a.  figure it out all over again or b. fake it.

6.  My life rules are totally awesome life rules, so I will share them.
               1. Breathe
               2.  Fake it 'til you make it.
               3.  When in doubt, convert to moles.
               4.  When all else fails- fuck it and go watch Buffy (or any other work from the brain of
                     Joss Whedon).

7. I am behind on grading.

8. Next semester will be so much better.

Lameeeee

I hate the labs we're doing today.  They're boring and take forever without ever actually accomplish anything.  Well, I guess calculating Avogadro's Number is nifty.....But I just don't wanna. 
Also, how do you get to at least, AT LEAST, freshman year in college without knowing how to use a ruler??
I don't get it.

Next week, topics gets to make alum, which is fun.  Sort of.  I wish I had my crystal to show them.
Also, I think I may have to make a mid-term.  AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

I think, to cheer myself up, I'm going to look up chem jokes.

Me=nerd.  In case you haven't figured that out yet.

Angst!!!!!!

I still like general chemistry better than topics.  It's just, I remember doing those labs, in the exact same lab.  I remember when I was at the first lab bench for gen chem one, sometimes (most of the time) following my now-supervisor, then-instructor, around like a lost puppy.  I remember being one of three girls in the lab for gen chem two.  I remember really loving chemistry.  I remember being known as the chem major that actually likes, and is (arguably) good at, chemistry.

Wednesay, a couple students got to lab over half an hour early.  I hadn't even started putting my normal notes on the board, and a few trickled in, and starting talking to each other and me.  They know I went to MC and was a chem major and they know I know work there( for the time being at least).  One girl was freaking out about whether she should be a straight up chem major or a chem engineering major.  She's worrying about jobs that you can get with either degree.  She asked me for advice.  I panicked and told her to talk to her professors, talk to both engineering and science departments.   I told her to breathe.  I told her she has three and a half years.  What I wanted to shout was that I just graduated, that I am 21 years old and have no idea what I'm doing.  That I was super lucky that I got the TA-ing gig.  That I hadn't even looked into trying to get a different job.  That I'm just as lost and panicky as she is.  That I'm not the 27 year old they think I am.

Then they were talking about how they think professors give tests in clumps just to make students hate their life and want to go drink in oblivion.  And the way they were talking about school,  I feel weird.  MC is mine, in my head at least.  It will always be mine.  I want to be back there saying hi to my friends on the quad not to my students.

It's ridiculous.  I'm acting like I didn't just graduate four months ago.  Like I haven't been on campus practically every day within those four months.  But it's just not the same.  Especially how I have no idea what I'm doing.

I kinda like teaching though.  I like being on this side of the lab, not worrying about what my results will be.  I'm figuring out that I do know some chemistry.  While percent yield is a pretty easy equation, it just feels so natural and easy to tell them 'hey, this is how you calculate percent yield.' It's awesome that I'm realizing that I guess I am pretty good at certain lab techniques.  This whole decanting-thing, I am so good at it.  I like seeing that.

I also love knowing how the game is played.  I know they don't want to do the pre-labs, I never wanted to.  I know that they probably hate standing for so long, that the heating and cooling wait periods are really freaking annoying.  That these labs could be better, the equipment could be newer.

Then there's a whole new pressure.  Everything lab is so fresh in my mind.  I have been doing this for four years, lots and lots of labs in the MC style that I forget these students don't have that.  What seems common sense and completely ingrained and unspoken rules may actually be new and confusing and lots and lots of questions for them.  I find myself needing to figure out a way to explain things a little better, remember that there are things that do need explaining.  

I need some sleep.  Tuesdays are the new Mondays.  Blergh.

The past two weeks.

I'm in the middle of grading.  I want to rip my hair out.  Is it so hard to read instructions or listen to the shouting harpy that's walking around the classroom and telling you to put on goggles?  Really.

The worksheets aren't that hard to grade.  The most common mistakes are not showing work and not using sigfigs.  Whatever, we'll work on that.  Something that confuses me is when they don't write the unknown label on their worksheet.  How am I supposed to tell you if you're right or wrong if I don't know what you had?  Oh well.

I do have actual reports for the gen chem kids.  And by kids, I mean students.  Some of these 'kids' are older than me....by like, twelve years.  :-/ 
Anyway, it's an actual report, asking for full sentences.  I asked for a coversheet and for them to 'make it pretty.'  They took it literally.  Some reports have pictures and jokes on them.   I may or may not absolutely love and adore my gen chem classes. 

Overall, the students aren't that bad.  There are the students that are oblivious and apparently don't know how to read, either.  they're few and far between, but I can handle it.  Some (all) don't want to be there, but their trying and getting through it.  Then the last few.  They're smart.  And they know it, so they're cocky about.... Whatever, they're smart and they do the work.  There are worse things. 

The worst part has got to be the commute.  I leave at 5:30 in the morning.  It's unlawful.  Sigh.

"The genius of Bunsen and the beauty of the flame"

Number of days: 2.  Daily commute: 76 train stops + 2 transfers.  Number of students: 120.   Hearing giggles at the SAME EXACT PART of the safety video six times in a row: priceless.

Well, I can say it might be a long semester.  I can also say that I survived these past two days.  It was easy.  Take attendance, watch the safety video, go over the syllabus, and for the two gen chem sections I teach- check equipment and play with Bunsen Burners. 

By the end, I was a little bit annoyed at having repeated the same speech over and over again.  I'm hoping that once we get into actual labs, it'll get better.  I think I already like my gen chem labs better than the topics labs.... i don't care if that makes me awful.  Would I rather do reactions and play with acids and bases or measure an object three times and find its average length???  No contest!

Things I liked about teaching:
-Feeling like I know this stuff.
-The wonderful advice I got from two of the smartest people I know.
-The awesome messages of 'you will do great" that I got from my friends.
-Playing with Bunsen Burners.
-Hitting my stride on my sixth, and final, lab of the week.

Things I didn't like:
-That shaky public speaking feeling the first five times.
-The sore throat I'm getting from speaking so loudly in a large room.
-Having to repeat the same things over and over and over and over and over.......

I will leave you with my two favourite parts of the Chemistry Safety Video...  They never failed to get giggles out of my classes:
Shower Scene
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xx1ZX6u9t9Q


Best acting Mannequin ever.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ToTPrLh5Kvc&feature=related

In one week, I will be a lab insructor.  I have six labs over two days and fourteen hours.  I am teaching two courses, a general chem lab and an even more watered down topics in science class for non-science majors.

I am terrified and excited.  I know that this will be a great experience.  I made a list of pros and cons.

Pros: It's a job.  It's in my field.  I have time to study and figure out what I am doing with my life.  I will get really great public speaking skills.  I will have a pretty cool resume.

Cons: I didn't actually have to interview.  I am still at the same place I've been for the past four years.  I feel like I don't know anything about chemistry.

  It could be worse.  And, it is pretty cool.

So.  Can she do it?